Friday, October 8, 2010

Siblings...

One of my big fears while we waited for Bennett's arrival was how it would affect our girls. I think most parents that have children with special needs as well as older children think about this. How would we do it all? Would the girls resent Bennett? Would they feel ignored?

Well, so far these girls have adjusted very well. I think it really comes down to how you approach it and making time for the other siblings. Yes, Bennett gets a lot of attention through all his different therapies but we try our hardest to make sure the girls are getting the attention they need and to make them feel just as special. Because they are!

They absolutely adore their baby brother though. And Ainsley is fully aware that he has Down syndrome. We've talked about it and while she doesn't really know what it all means, she does know that it means he needs to work harder on things than other kids and he'll need help doing them. And that it's okay that he can't do all the things other kids his age are doing because he'll get there.

Another fear I had and maybe this was just me but I was really worried that Bennett wouldn't look like us, his family. You see, I had about zero interaction with anyone that had DS growing up so I never saw the family that came along with the person. To me, many people with DS looked the same, I'm just being honest. But again, I never saw their family.

Well, I was wrong and worried for nothing! Because I happen to think {and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one} that Bennett looks a whole lot like Harper...

Look how he just adores his big sister!
He also has her personality so far too!

I've really enjoyed seeing all the children, siblings and families on the other blogs I follow. I can see that each and every person with Down syndrome is unique, even though they share many of the same physical traits. They share their parent's genes though too, so yes, they look like them!

So the take away here is that siblings of children with special needs can either turn out to resent their "special brother or sister" or they can be enriched and learn so much from them. I hope my girls will be in that second group!

Oh and that people with Down syndrome don't all look the same!!;)


13 comments:

  1. well I felt the same about those things too and one was especially how I wanted W to look like the girls and I think he does, just like B looks so much like your girls. He is adorable!

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  2. God has truly blessed you with gorgeous kids! The way Bennett looks at his sisters just warms my heart!

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  3. Another great post and very well said...You have three beautiful children. Jacob has the same blue/brown outfit...So adorable.

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  4. Yeah, so true. Love the honesty here.

    I think you've created a loving atmosphere where each child is valued for their uniqueness, and that has nothing to do with d/s. So I feel sure you're family will be perfectly typical!

    What I mean is that kids w/o sibs that have disabilities resent each other ALL THE TIME! (He's faster, smarter, she's funnier, prettier, etc.), but a healthy family WORKS THROUGH IT. So my hope for us all is that we have healthy, functional families that work THROUGH the issues that present themselves.

    Keep up the great work!

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  5. I am loving your recent posts! Great tidbits on Ds. Cute pics of your kiddos!!

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  6. Adrienne! I cannot get enough of your posts about these fantastic real topics! Thanks so much for taking the time to write them and for sharing!

    p.s. thanks for your comment on my blog it was a big comfort!

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  7. With baby #2 on the way I often find myself worrying about how to make this new baby girl feel special and not resent her big sister. I'm hoping that when she arrives things will just fall into place and as long as I'm aware of the potential issues, I can do my best to avoid them. Here's hoping!

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  8. As always... loving your posts! Precious pictures too!

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  9. Thank you for sharing your unexpected journey with us. Bennett is the most adoreble sweet little boy i have ever seen. I always take a look at hin before i go to bed.
    I have a little baby boy with DS. I love him so much but still i have days when it is hard to accept that he is different. But then i take a look at little beautiful bennett and then i think that everything will be ok.
    Your blog has been very important for me.
    Thank you!
    Love from Greece

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  10. Frame that first picture as fast as you can...it is just the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

    *sigh

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  11. I had the same fears too and I was so very wrong. Love the pics in this post!

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  12. Such cute pictures, I especially love the one of Bennett just adoring Harper.

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  13. You are definitely spot-on...Bennett' cute little nose and cheeks are identical versions of Harper's little nose and cheeks. So incredibly cute. It is fun watching your precious babes grow up through this blog :)

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