Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Back to school...

Yep, that's right, school is already in for us because we're on a year round schedule!  Believe it or not we all love it!  Hard to believe that my little Harper is already in kindergarten though!  And Miss Ainsley is now a savvy second grader!  Such big girls;)

Both girls got their hair chopped before school and both are happy with their new looks...

Harper went right into her class and started working.  No tears from anyone.  She loves school!

My girls are growing up!

So for now it's just me and B for the next month and then it's his turn!!  It's been me and B for 3 years now so there will definitely be some tears...maybe not from him but from this mommy, for sure;(

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Right now...I'm comfortable.

So I've been doing some thinking, some observing, some reflecting.  

Right now I'm very comfortable with my life and with my family.  I'm mainly very comfortable with this whole Down syndrome thing.  It's something that comes and goes...I know, I know... blah, blah, blah.  Sometimes it's a big deal and then sometimes it's not such a big deal.  And right now as I watch Bennett interact with others, and how others interact with him, I'm comfortable with it.  I remember when we first found out before he was even born how worried I was about what people would say, or think, or do.  But right now people accept him and they really have throughout all of his short life.  Do we have awesome friends and family or what??!!;)

Right now though I notice this mainly at the pool because this is where we are 90% of our time during the hot summer days.  (The other 10% is at Target and people LOVE him there too-lol;)) But it's either swim lessons, swim team practice, swim meets or just general swimming at the pool.

Right now everyone thinks Bennett is "precious", "so cute", "a doll", "adorable", "so sweet".  And I have to admit he is at an age where he is all of these things and more.  And I know it's very obvious now that he has Down syndrome.  In other words...people know.  As soon as you look at him you know, and of course that's fine.

But randomly I wonder what pregnant women think when they see him at the pool or around town though, ya know?  Because I've caught quite a few looking.  Some will ask how old he is and just watch him and smile.  I wonder if they're surprised, if they wonder, if they're relieved (because they somehow know their baby is "normal") or if they think that's nice but glad it's not me.  Lots of people watch Bennett and smile though and I can't help but feel good about it at our little neighborhood pool because in some way it shows me that his community accepts him and thinks he's pretty cool.

He flirts with the life guards, saying "Hi!" and "Hello" and then "Bye-Bye" and "Later" when we leave.  Little girls and teenage girls always smile and laugh and think he's so sweet.  He asks every random man or friend that is a man to hold him and then snuggles with them and they all love it.

But I guess the big question is, will it always be this way?  I don't know.  I mean really, NO, I know it won't.  I'm not naive.  And I'm kind of a realist anyway.  "Negative Nelly"you could say.  But perhaps if we live here long enough the neighborhood will come to know him as Bennett- the sweet little boy with Down syndrome and love him and accept him.  However, I know the bad times will come.  The times where he'll be teased and I will have to do everything in my power to not go full out "mama bear" on whoever talks bad about my boy. The emotions that are wrapped up in Bennett are so strong and this fierce urge to protect him is like no other so right now I can't imagine what I'd do because up until this point he's always been treated so nicely.   How do I tame the strong emotions?  How do I control the "mama bear" tendencies and the temper I have when someone tries to "harm" my boy?

Goodness, I don't know.  That's something that I'll have to take to God because only He can give me the strength to know what to do and how to act.

I guess for now I'll just enjoy the fact that my son is loved, he's accepted, he's treated fairly, he's treated like any other kid (which is all I want by the way).  And when the time comes that he's treated poorly I'll simply have to count on God to give me the strength to know how to handle it.  Can't promise the "mama bear claws" won't come out but I'm praying that God can give me the grace to know how to handle it.

You know NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS would I ever think I would be okay with having a child with Down syndrome.  That I would be comfortable with it.  That may sound vain but most of you know I've always been honest on this blog and to be honest Down syndrome is not what I ever wanted or planned.  But I'm totally cool with it now and I know Mike is too.  I think we're both like "Whatever!  This is our life, we like it, we're down with it and all is good."

And let me tell ya, that's a good place to be in!  That's where God's plans come into play when you weren't expecting them, smack you in the face and make you realize, "Hey, maybe His plans are better than mine!"

God has done that to me so many times in my life and I think that's why it's "easy" (okay not always easy;0) for me to just accept His plans now when they aren't mine.  Even in the HARDEST circumstances.

Right now I'm comfortable....it's a good place to be.  Thanks be to God.  I know seasons will change and storms will come but I also know and believe without a doubt that Bennett was meant to be here just as he is, and God has a perfect little plan for him in this world and I guess it's our job to make him fit where God wants him.

Right now that's here, comfortable in our little community.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Beach Trip Photo Dump!

We've had a great summer so far and thanks to a very sweet couple (you know who you are and we can't thank you enough), we were able to enjoy an awesome trip to the beach during the 4th of July week.  It worked out that my sister was down there for her son's baseball tournaments along with my mom!  So for the first time we had a "big" family beach trip with my side of the family!  Good old Myrtle Beach, SC was where it all went down (Mike and I used to live here before we had kids).  Here's my big photo dump, enjoy!

All the cousins.  Gotta love Bennett's face in this one!  LOL.

Me and my boy!

My mom and B!

Our next Christmas card pic??

Yep, I think he's pretty adorable;)

I don't know, do we look alike??

Rare pic of just the two of us!

My sister Alexa and her husband Seth.

My sister and her family always take such good family photos!

B wasn't crazy about being in the lifeguard chair.

July 4th!
Good sister time.

Sensory issues??  No way!  At least not with the sand, water and general craziness of Myrtle Beach!

Sand castle time!

Our future golf pro;)

Classic face for Harper.

School will start for the girls in just 2 weeks (we do year round school here) and Bennett will start school on September 4th!  All 3 kids have become little fishes this summer at the pool- Bennett is a crazy man when it comes to the water!  He loves it!  Ainsley's last swim meet is coming up this week and we are so proud of the things she's accomplished!  Harper passed the swim test and she can now go down the "big blue slide" by herself so all is good in her world.  

The days here are hot and sometimes long but never boring.  Pretty soon the house will be quiet and I'll miss all the noise and commotion.  I'll be wondering where the summer went and how my kids grew up so fast.  So for now I'll just enjoy it;)