The torpedo continues to get larger and longer! Not the best picture here but oh well, I'm pregnant and I'm in exercise clothes, that's just how it goes. It's so fun watching your face get a little bit fuller, week after week, really it is;)
Anyways, I can't believe it's been 5 weeks since my last belly pic! If the next five go as fast, that's just a little scary to think Mike and I will soon have 3 little lives to be responsible for. And to think when we first found out about Bennett I thought this was going to be the longest, most depressing pregnancy. But it hasn't at all! It's been my easiest (physically, although not emotionally) of the three and I've met so many people in life and in the blogging world that are wonderful people with wonderful families, so I'm thankful for that.
On another note, I was getting the mail today and I noticed an envelope from a company called Genzyme. Now, I'm going to be perfectly honest here as I have from the beginning, I've had these two crazy fantasies where: 1. The genetic counselor calls and says "I have wonderful news, we've made a huge mistake, your baby does not have Down syndrome, he still has the heart defect of course but your amnio got mixed up with another patient, I am so sorry for all the heart ache this must have caused you" and then I call everyone we know and post it on my blog that the craziest, most unbelievable thing has happened and 2. Bennett comes out and the doctors say, there's no way this baby has Down syndrome and they do an echo and the heart defect is gone. I know, I know, crazy but it runs through my mind, I can't help it. So when I see this envelope I immediately think (just briefly) "What if this is a letter saying they've made a huge mistake and the amnio was mixed up". As if they would send it in a letter, silly, I know! Well, of course it wasn't, it was only the bill for the amnio and I'm so thankful we have insurance! Along with that one, came another bill from CHOP for the fetal echo and I'm even more thankful for our insurance for that bill.
So I know in the past I've said I'm at peace with Bennett having DS and really I am but I guess a very small part of me has not fully accepted it or fully comprehended it. And maybe it will take a long time for that to happen. It's still so hard for me to believe at times, like "Really, I'm going to have a baby that has Down syndrome?" I wonder if even when he gets here I'll be able to really comprehend it. I'm not saying that I can't accept him or won't accept him of course, it's just still a little strange to think it's really happening to us. Just one of those things you think will never happen to you. So I don't know if any one else that has had a prenatal diagnosis had these crazy fantasies like I do. I don't dwell on them or anything and I'm not thinking about them constantly by any means but every once in a while they creep into my head like they did today before I opened the bill.