Tuesday, August 18, 2009

He'll Give You Strength When You Need It.

Looking back on Bennett's surgery and really back to December when we found out about Bennett's diagnosis we have been on a roller coaster of emotions. For weeks before Bennett was born I would be fine and excited about his birth and then I would quickly turn and be terrified of it all and the future. As we waited while he was in surgery one minute we were fine, smiling, joking and the next minute were were crying, terrified of what might happen. I remember talking to my sister on the phone while we waited and I told her how I just didn't want to see Bennett on a breathing tube when he came out and I was afraid of what he might look like-I had seen pictures and they were scary. She said:

"God will give you the strength for that when you need it. You don't have it now because you don't need it now but when the time comes, he'll give you that strength to get through it."

And she was so right. I thought about when I handed Bennett over to the doctor just an hour before to take him to surgery and how I thought I would start bawling but I didn't. Of course I cried a little but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. God was there, when I needed him at that very time to give me strength for that. And when I walked into Bennett's room to see him for the first time after surgery, God gave me the strength to see my little baby laying there all hooked up to a million wires (no breathing tube by the way) and it wasn't that bad. I was calm and just happy to see him.

People say "I can't imagine having to go through what you've gone through" and of course you can't and it scares you to think about having to go through something like that. Just like it scared me or how I think I could never deal with having a child in the hospital with cancer or losing one of my parents or family members or taking care of my son that my live with us when he's grown. That's because we don't have that strength to get through those things now because we don't need it right now. God knows when we need that strength at just the right time. His timing is perfect. I'm no stronger than the next person. But when I look back at the times I was most afraid of something, it may not have been easy but I had the strength to get through it and it was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. So remember that next time you think you could never endure something or you just won't be able to handle some crisis. I believe God is just waiting for us to ask him for that strength when we need it at the perfect time.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand-Isaiah 41:10

For now, even though they say life can be like a roller coaster, it has it's ups and downs and sometimes flips, Mike and I are hoping to stay off of the big roller coaster and hang out on the kiddie rides for a while!;)


Yes, I think this ride will do for now...fun but not scary! But when or if it's time to jump back on that big roller coaster I know God will be there to help me through the scary times just when I need him to.

18 comments:

  1. oh so very true, very well said. I feel the same way, I used to get embarrassed when people said they looked up to me b/c of my strength...God will give it to anyone when they need it in an situation

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very very true. God will give us what we need when we need it to face our trials. I feel woozy and anxious whenever I think back on what I was going through one year ago but back then God gave me great strength to endure it. I am so glad you guys are through the big stuff and at a point when you can relax and enjoy your lovely family.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Adrienne - That was lovely, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amen to your post!! I don't know how we would have made it through it without HIM! I took comfort in knowing that not only was HE with me, but HE was also right there in the O.R. holding Lily's hand when I couldn't.

    I'm sitting here tearing up remembering it all.

    I love that scripture from Isaiah...what a beautiful reminder that our God is always with us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a blessing you have in your sister! Thank you for posting this,I really needed it today.I'm in tears after reading.God used you to talk to me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such a beautful post Adrienne!!! It is a great way to view life. Remembering not to worry about future things and that God will help us through what comes our way. Thank you so much for that reminder. I am glad that Bennett is doing so well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So very true, from a mother who's been through many hardships in the last year and a half, it is so true that God gives you strength to deal with things you never would have thought you could handle. I never thought I could handle the loss of my mom, the loss of our foster daughter who was with us for a year and a half, or having to see one of my parents battle cancer. And yet, God has given me the strength to deal with all these things at once! Now, there are bad days, and days that I don't feel strong, but God is always there!! God bless!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I loved this post! Your sister said the same thing I did after my father passed away 7 years ago. Prior to his death my sister and I would often talk about how difficult it would be if one of our parents passed away. We couldn't imagine getting through something like that. Than the unthinkable happened but God was there. He gave us strength I didn't know was possible at the time.

    Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts - it's such a good reminder to trust and lean on the One who cares so much for us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very nice post. Thanks for Cheryl for sending me over here. It's knowing that I'm in His hands that keeps me calm. I've been slow to read blogs lately. I'm hoping you all get to slow down and just enjoy the ride of everyday life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nice post....and so appropriate in my life at this very moment. I'm anxious about something that's going on with us and have worried myself silly....even to the point of a migraine....BUT I know that GOD is in control and will work it all out according to HIS perfect plan and that I'll have the strength to deal with it when I need it. Pray for me in the next couple of days please as I deal with this situation.

    Isn't GOD just amazing?????

    ReplyDelete
  11. I came over from Cheryl's.I'm so glad I did. I never really thought of it that way, but looking back on moments in my life, times I thought "I'll never get through this" and then did,and did much better than I thought I would. I guess I was getting the strength when I needed it.You put it beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So true, Adrienne. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. You have shown such amazing strength over the past few months. YOu are doing such a great job at being a mother of three! I hope I have it all together as much as you do when I have three! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Exceptionally well said. Thank you.
    Thanks for your comment on my blog. I've been following your sweet family for months and left a second comment just after Bennett's surgery. You've been in my prayers. So thankful to hear that the recovery is going smoothly!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love this post Adrienne. Such words of wisdom. Thank you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks so much for your inspiring posts. I am so scared of Caydence's surgery, but I know God will be right there with us! I too am feeling the same things you felt. I tear up every time I think about handing her over to the doctors, wondering if it will be the last time I see her precious blue eyes. The only thing that gives me hope and comfort right now is reading all of the blogs about children like Bennett who've already gone through the surgery and are doing so well. Thanks so much for your blog <3

    ReplyDelete
  16. Adrienne,

    What an amazing coincidence that you found us through your blog! A friend of ours is following your blog and sent us a link to check out your blog (since we also have a DS son who just underwent open-heart surgery)! Last night you popped up on our blog (we're very new to this blog thing...) and said YOU had found US, and that you'd be following our little Logan:) It's a small world I guess:) At any rate, we absolutely fell in love with your pictures of Bennet, and your pictures after the surgery really gave us an idea of what to expect. It's great to get in touch with you. (By the way, I'm from Lancaster, PA, and was amazed you went to CHOP! That's awesome!) Good luck to you and your family, and we'll be following your blog as well. (Hopefully we can email each other tips for raising our boys:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I felt just the same way when Stockton had his heart surgery. And I just echo your words that it is through God that all things are possible. He truly helps us rise to the occassion. What a sweetheart Bennett is...so glad surgery went well!

    ReplyDelete

I love reading your thoughts so go ahead and leave a comment!