Expectations...

I was talking with a friend the other day and she asked how Bennett was doing. I told her I felt he was doing well and that all his therapists have commented on his good tone and how well he holds his tongue in and things like that. She said maybe he has a mild case of Down syndrome...don't I wish.

Without getting into a lengthy conversation, I agreed. Now if you are the person I was talking to, do not think you said anything wrong! Most people think that there are "milder" forms of Down syndrome but from all I've read it seems if you have it, you have it. You can't have a little Down syndrome or a lot, you just have it or you don't.

Now perhaps there are "higher functioning" and "lower functioning" individuals so to give my friend credit, she most likely meant this. Again, to my friend, please don't think you offended me in any way, you don't need to apologize because you said nothing wrong, it just got me thinking...

So for my family and friends and others that are not aware, I thought I'd share what the average age for some of the big physical milestones are for Down syndrome. It may surprise some people, probably most will be surprised that it may take that long to do some things, especially when you see the age range.

But I figure if my friends and family are informed and we stick to the Down syndrome milestone chart, we won't be disappointed or fearful that Bennett isn't reaching his milestones.

After all, Bennett does have Down syndrome and do I want him to be "higher functioning"?- You better believe I do, don't all parents? But that's out of my control. So where ever he is on the functioning spectrum I think it's important to still remember he has Down syndrome so let's not compare him to kids that don't. (Not saying that anyone ever has). {Besides, I'm the only one allowed to secretly do that-lol, just kidding-sorta;)!}

The average is the first number and the age range is the second set of numbers (blogger won't let me space it how I want):

Rolling: 8m, 4m-12m

Sitting, unassisted: 11m, 8.5m-15.5m

Crawls: 14m, 9m-19m

Pulls to stand: 15m, 9-26m

Stands alone: 18m, 12m-38m

Walks: 23m, 13m-48m

Runs: around 4 years

I won't bore you with some of the other cognitive and social milestones but the good news is that right now Bennett is staying pretty close to that first number in the "age-range" for that. However, for example, pulling to stand at 9 months isn't going to happen unless he has a major explosion in gross motor skills. But that's okay. He may be able to do some things early and he may do some things late, just like any other child.

I'm not saying my expectations are necessarily low for Bennett. I'm just saying I don't expect Bennett to do things other kids without DS are doing at exactly the same time. Now if he does, whoo-hoo!But I think it's healthy to have my expectations in check but to still push Bennett to be the best he can be.

And whether he's "higher-functioning" or "lower-functioning", well, I don't think we'll really know that for some time but we'll still love him just the same and expect him to challenge himself and do many if not all of the things his sisters do. I will not put any limitations on Bennett. I will expect him to do everything other little babies do, just on a different timeline...

and we'll call it...

Bennett's

very

own

timeline.