Many have asked how I am doing, I guess they mean as far as recovering from the c-section. I'm recovering well, the section was not fun and I don't want to do it again but the recovery has been good and I'm feeling (as far as my body goes) great!
But I want to be honest, I've always tried to be honest on my blog, every once in a while I feel sad. Not sad like I don't want to talk about it or like I'm depressed about it. I've known for over 5 months that Bennett would have Down syndrome and I handled it pretty well I think but now that he is here, it's real. And every time I think about it I get a little sad. I'm don't want him to have Down syndrome and there are parts of me that still think it's not fair. I hate that this is something we will have to live with and that this sweet baby will have to overcome challenges in his life and I don't want that for him. I think it's hard when you know what the future may hold- as far as delays and statistics verses with Ainsley and Harper I don't know so I just assume everything will be fine with them. How can I assume everything will be fine with Bennett when there are facts starring me in the face that he will be delayed and that he will be a little different from other children?
Now I'm not saying "what if, what if" I'm just saying I'm no superhuman here and I'm just a little sad, it's okay to be a little sad, right? I still love him more than anything but I just wish that things were different right now. I hope this doesn't show a lack in faith, it's not that I don't trust that God has a plan for us and I still feel Bennett will bring many blessings to our lives, it just makes me a little sad sometimes to know that he has Down syndrome. Maybe as time goes on, my feelings will change.