Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Ramblings About People Noticing Bennett...

Now that Bennett is older, people notice him more and I can tell that they look at him a little longer than what's just the normal glance at a baby.  It's most often in a checkout line and what used to be a concern of mine- "Would people notice he had Down syndrome?" is sooo not even a concern now.

I know people know.  Of course I don't care.  They can tell by looking at his eyes and you can almost pick out the people that have a soft spot for kids like Bennett by the way they interact with him.  Or how they gush over him.  Some just look and smile and others can't get over him.

But you know I've yet to get a rude comment.  From anyone really, in almost 2 years.  I'm sure it'll come some day and who knows how I'll react to it.  I think the most annoying comment I get about Bennett is that people think he's a girl!  Yes, we still have this problem, even though my boy is in a total boyish, non-cutesy outfit-people call him a girl!  Drives me crazy and I don't even know if cutting his hair would do any good!  Don't these people realize that being a child of mine, if he was a girl, I would have the biggest bow ever in his (her) hair and he'd (she'd) be covered in pink head to toe!?;)

LOL.
"Aww, how old is SHE?"  "Yes, the one with the boyish hat." ;)

Another comment we get from lots of people and many times it's from children close to Bennett's age, is "Look at the baby!" or from a toddler "Baby!!"  Ha!  He's probably older than you, kid!  That's okay, Bennett is little and still looks like he's 12 months old.  Not walking probably doesn't help either.  Aah, no biggie.

I don't know, I think he looks older than that baby on the left.  However she could be 5 months old for all I know!

It's funny because I used to be so concerned about what others thought and now I just don't care.  I'm proud of my son and very confident and comfortable {most of the time} with our situation and I think people feed off of that.  Kind of like "Hello, this is who we are, this is our family and I sure hope you'll accept us just as is."  And for the most part, actually for all parts- people do.


I kind of  really like that Bennett gives a little character to our family.  We're just a bit different and that's totally okay with me.  Sure we may always be "The family with the child that has Down syndrome" to local families or it would actually and unfortunately sound more like "The family that has the kid with Downs" or "The family with the Down syndrome child".  But hopefully I can help change that;)  And hopefully Bennett can help change the way some people think about people like him as he grows up.



For now we'll just let people notice him and maybe he'll bring a smile to their face:)



Photobucket

34 comments:

  1. Loved this post. I just finished working out and was thinking about working out with Jack one day - anyways - sitting on my deck with protein shake catching up on blogs and this one was perfect. I agree - I used to wonder if people noticed and now I know they do and I am proud to be his mom. I am not ashamed or scared, but more like it's an honor to have him in my life and be seen with him. And I don't think Bennett looks girly at all!!!HA! I have gotten that with Jack from time to time. Shiloh Pitt - ok she can get the boy comment and she's a girl - but our boys look all boy!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quite honestly, if I saw him I would stare too. But only because he is soooo damn cute!! And Ella would definitley be one of those little girls that wants to hug him and kiss him and take care of him:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Our Benji is now almost 12 months. We also get a longer stare in a check out line or somewhere. But it does not bother me anymore.

    I cannot believe they think Bennett is a girl!!! My older daughter looks so girly to me and did as a baby. Everyone also thought she was a boy in purple and pink. Interesting! Well, he is adorable!! Love, Cara

    ReplyDelete
  4. Adrienne,
    I am dealing with the same thing about the comment "Look at the baby!" Yet, you take it a lot better than I do!! It's still effecting me. Grace is 19 months old and isn't walking yet, and is VERY small for her age, so she could easily past for a 12 month old. Someday, I'll be like you!! What a good mommy you are!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a great post! He is super cute! What a happy person! I don't know why anyone would think he is a girl, he is so boyish! Some people are a little dense. What a great looking family you have. Thanks for the smile.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I stumbled upon your blog and have read every post from the very beginning. It is amazing to see your transformation of feeling betrayed and confused to positive and upbeat. Your family is beautiful. Bennett is the most handsome little boy and your attitude is contagious. You (and Bennett) have changed my entire perception. I hope more people are lucky enough to "stumble" upon your blog...it will change their life. It certainly changed mine.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sweet Bennett...what a cutie Adrienne! Great to catch up on your blog-hope you guys are enjoying spring!!
    Kristin
    PS. Bennett is ALL BOY...Loving his cute haircut and hats!

    ReplyDelete
  8. What an amazing post! To me he looks so grown up these days that I can't imagine people still calling him a baby...but I still call Landon baby (to which he replies "I not a baby I'm almost 3) so what do I know! :) He in no way looks like a girl and I wish I could give you a good come back for those comments but I can't seem to think of any! We've just recently started encountering people who dote over Sutter and I know from the way they talk to him or treat him they have special connection...and I love it!

    Bennett is by far one of the cutest BOYS I have ever laid eyes on!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. OH, HOW THIS SPEAKS TO MY HEART! Love it, love it, love it. I never knew how to put it, but I love how you said Bennett adds character to your family. That is how I feel about our little man, Levi.
    http://secondtimearound-vernyvern.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOVED this post!! And I too loved how you said Bennett adds character to your family...beautiful!
    I still feel a little uneasy and uncomfortable when people stare at Russell...Its something I have struggled with lately. I hope to one day be where you are now, where it just doesnt bother me at all.
    This post was really great, it made me smile :)
    Bennett is adorable and he looks ALL boy to me!

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's amazing to me that most interactions of strangers with Owen are positive! The only time I can think of that wasn't, we were eating at a restaurant and a lady pointed with a disgusted look on her face in our direction and her husband turned around. They wouldn't look our way when they left. It was sad but that is their loss! Owen loves to wave and say "hi" to everyone he sees at the grocery store and most people wave back and say hi and some even touch him and stop and talk. No one ever mentions Down syndrome or ask questions but you can tell they know. It was definitely something I had worried about when he was first born but it hasn't been a big deal at all. I think most people follow our lead, like you said, and I treat Owen just as I do my first child.
    Bennett is such a handsome guy! Maybe you could just make him a shirt that says "B is for Boy!" ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. So adorable, that sweet face! Great post. I don't care, either, that we're "that" family. JM is a pretty cool kid and I think heads turn because of his magnetic personality :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sweet Little Bennett & What a great post !!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have and feel the same way....we love our little ones and don't want people making any negative remarks. Bennett is SO DARN CUTE and I appreciate all of your posts! :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mistaking Bennett for a girl? No way! He looks all boy to me - and what a cute one at that! (Handsome, rather!) And what a liberating feeling when we can finally stop being self-conscious about what people may or may not think about our kids. It's so nice just to enjoy being out with our kids and have it be just as simple as that! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Youre whole family is just beautiful. The smiles, the eyes, the brightness in each of your faces. You have a complete family and it oculdnt be more perfect.
    That is good you havent got a negative comment. I pray that you never do! With Skylars condition it isnt always physically noticeable to the idea, depending on the degree so I usually got. "how old is she" "shes 3" "oh shes really small"..... Ok thankyou, I never know how to respond. Wiliams Syndrome kids arent big they dont gain weight fast and usually stay at a small stature and yes shes behind in gross and fine motor skills so she cant be independent like most three year olds.
    Or I get "her eyes they are so big and beautiful" I love Skylars eyes they are my favorite part about her. they are just that BIG BLUE AND BEAUTIFUL. Most WS children do have bigger eyes but besides that Skys traits arent noticeable so I get more of the looks of why is that kid melting down like that, can the mom not handle her, does she not know how to behave, look how old hse is. Not knowing theres probably about 1000 things that trigger her off.
    I think the meanest thing Ive ever gotten is before we knew what Skylar had and an anonymous asked me why my child had "bug eyes".... ouch

    anyway im so sorry for rambling in my comment. your pictures are absolutely beautiful thank you for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  17. Its so funny that I was just thinking of this very thing! I have yet to get a negative comment on Arina! Usually its her gorgeous blue eyes, or crazy personality, that draws people to her. Jax I never really got a negative comment, but with him people always asked about the medical stuff, not the DS stuff. And when he was younger, he got called a girl a LOT! I'm the same way, if he was a girl, he would have a huge bow in his hair! But cutting his hair did help, because he had long, gorgeous hair!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Great post!! People say some of the dumbest things sometimes and they feel like they have to state the obvious..WHY???? not sure but its very irritating..I just want to go into the store get my stuff that i need and get out wiht out being stopped by everyone..Im in my own zone dont they know i only have so much time before my kids start to act up...I feel like i need to make a shirt and wear it everytime I go in public that states yes i have five kids and they are all mine, yes i know i have my handsful and yes they are ALL girls..yes they are twins..and yes she has down syndrome..so i can so believe that people would call bennett a girl..its funny i actually caught myself staring at older children with down syndrome when Avery was a baby bc mostly i was curious...i wonder what there mom's were thinking..ok that got long...sorry!!!:)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Seriously your boy is so freaking cute!!!!!! I just need his entire wardrobe and his dark hair and eyebrows, I mean COME ON!!!! I love him!!! You inspire me with my little man Nolan, who is 7 months old and we are navigating through, I ALWAYS obsess if someone is just saying oh cute baby because they "know"....so strange isn't it, just a bummer that ds does that to us too! But, happy that you are over it and I have that strength to look forward to, so thank you for being an inspiration, where do you live that you do that father/daughter dance??? We are in MN and I would love that!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I had to laugh reading this because I could have written it myself. We've had all the same experiences. Even Anthony's buddy, who is 2 months younger than him, and has Down syndrome, looks at him and signs "Baby"! :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. he looks like a girl? no he is ALL BOY!! and to darn cute!! when Max had his long blonde curls he would often be called a girl! I just giggled and he just smiled and could care less! I am LOVING the pix with you and Bennett at the pool! he makes me smile...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love this post! Bennett is seriously one of the cutest little boys I have ever seen...EVER. His smile makes me grin. I really appreciated what you said about not caring what others think. I've always been concerned about what others think of me, and since having Bailey I've realized that if anyone wants to make a comment, that is their problem! I will stand up for my little girl! But like you, all we've had is people gush over her and love on her. Thanks for being so honest. And that is a seriously adorable family picture!

    ReplyDelete
  23. He certainly brings a smile to mine :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Adreinne, your children are absolutely gorgeous! It is amazing that people mistake Bennett as a girl. Wow! Keep posting the beautiful pics.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Often people will ask me Ella's age and I wonder if they ask because they think she has Down Syndrome, or it that is just what you do when you are sitting in the McDonald's play area and your toddlers are showing interest in each other...

    ReplyDelete
  26. People also thought that my son was a baby... even when he was almost 3... I just look at it as I get to enjoy the stages longer :) Your little guy is so cute!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I just accidently found your blog, and I'm so glad I did. What I notice is how brightly Bennett's light shines and how absolutely precious he is. Your family is beautiful...thanks for sharing them here!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi there, I stumbled on to your blog through Pinterest (I was reading your holiday monogram DIY--can't wait to try it--beautiful!). I saw a link at the bottom of your post about Bennett. I just want to tell you how much it touched me. His sweet pictures made me smile--he is such a precious little guy. Thank you for this post, for sharing your story. Sounds like you have a pretty wonderful family :)
    Take care,
    Jenny

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hi. I also just stumbled upon your blog. I think your boy Bennett is adorable. He is a special gift. All you children are adorable for that matter.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hello, I stumbled upon your blog because of Pinterest. I wanted to share why I stare when I see anyone with Down Syndrome...because it might make you think differently about why others stare. My Uncle lived with my family for 12 years with Downs and changed our lives completely. He made us better people and I miss him every day. I could go into detail about how wonderful that experience and relationship was but I wont bore you! My Uncle died 2 years ago and since then every time I see someone with Down Syndrome I think of him...I think about all of the wonderful things he did for my life and my family. I think of all the things I miss about him and how much I wish he was still around. Sometimes I think about the people they are with, and how they treat them, how they take care of them, and how lucky they are to have an angel in their life. So, that is why I stare...I do feel bad...sometimes when I am caught staring I turn away and am totally embarrassed...and wish I had smiled and just said hi.

    ReplyDelete
  31. bennett is absolutely precious! what a cute boy!

    ReplyDelete
  32. You have a beautiful family. Love the outfits on the kids.

    ReplyDelete

I love reading your thoughts so go ahead and leave a comment!