Thursday, January 27, 2011

Why I blog....

I started this blog soon after we found out Bennett would have Down syndrome. I was about 19 weeks pregnant and I remember telling my sister I may start a blog. The concept (almost 2 years ago) was so foreign to us at the time. We laughed about it because it just seemed so strange.

But as the months went on, it became very therapeutic to write what I was feeling and I started "meeting" so many other moms that had been where I was. Seeing their families and their little ones with Down syndrome gave me great comfort. It made me smile when I honestly didn't think I would smile again, it made me look forward to meeting Bennett.

Of course blogging has also been a great way to "capture the moments" of my children's lives. I think it will be fun for them to look back one day and see what their life was like. They'll probably laugh at how crazy their mom was at times and looking at pictures will hopefully bring back good memories.

But I think the most rewarding part (and please don't think I'm tooting my own horn here because that's not my intention) has been the many pregnant or new moms that have emailed me through these last 2 years. Telling me their story and how our story has helped them. I remember being in their same shoes and finding blogs, reaching out-I had no one else to turn to, no one who really had been there and knew what I was feeling.

In the last month, I've received 3 emails from expectant moms and I'm so thankful these moms contacted me and are wanting to give their babies a good life. Like me, they have found out their babies have Down syndrome, as well as the same heart defect Bennett had. They are nervous, scared, unsure but this blog and others has given them hope. And there are so many other wonderful blogs about children just like Bennett. Seems like I come across a new one every day and it makes me smile. Some of the kids have even become Bennett's buddies in real life;)

So where is all this going?

Well there's been recent talk of a new test to screen babies for Down syndrome- a very early test, early as in: the first trimester. A test that specifically targets babies with Down syndrome. A non-invasive test that won't bring risk to the baby or the mom. But it will be able to tell the parents with almost 100% accuracy whether or not the baby has Down syndrome. I think we're talking at 9 weeks. You know where I'm going here. But let's get this straight: I'm not saying that all parents that choose to take this test are doing so because they will abort, if it comes back positive.

However, this test is easy, "risk free" and the baby is just "barely there" (according to some). This test could give women an even easier choice to abort their baby that has Down syndrome, after all the baby is only 9 weeks, (barely there) right?

Oh, this breaks my heart and I'm not going to get into an abortion debate and whether or not this test is right but what I can hope and pray is that someone that finds themselves in that situation will come across this blog or the many other wonderful blogs and see that there is most definitely hope, that their baby deserves to have a life, that it's a life worth living,

that their baby will bring them joy that they can't even comprehend.

To me, God made Bennett just how He wanted him. And I've just learned time and time again that God knows best. I know everyone doesn't believe this.

But I'm pretty sure God doesn't make mistakes!! He's God!

No one ever said it would be easy to raise a child with Down syndrome. It can be frustrating, emotionally draining-just hard. But raising typical kids isn't easy either!!

I just think so many fail to see how rewarding it can really be, probably because they don't know. And probably because they've been told otherwise. Hopefully I can share how rewarding it can be from time to time, here on this blog. Hopefully it can continue to bring a scared mom hope. Hopefully it can even change a scared mom's mind.

So yeah, this is a big reason why I blog.


  1. This is also why I started the blog about our life with Bridget--and continue to write about our adoption adventure and our lives now with two little girls with Ds. I love the emails from expectant or new moms, or families (grandparents, siblings, best friends) who write to say thank you for the blog and to ask if I would be willing to reach out to their daughter, or sister or friend. I do so willingly...because we have discovered the same thing...that our daughter's lives (and our lives with them) are WORTH LIVING.

    And I am amazed, every day, by the incredible people I've met who are also traveling this path.

    We're lucky, aren't we!?

    xo, Lisa

  2. Great post Adrienne!! I couldn't agree more.....that's why I'm here sharing our life with Landon, too!! The medical field can do what they do.......and us mom's (who truly know the joy) will do what we do too......advocate & spread awareness as far as we can of how truly WORTHY our children are of life!!!

    Countless emails from new & expectant moms really keeps me going!!! Just knowing that I may reach family makes it all worth while. And the friendships I have mad along the way!!

  3. Beautifully written. This is the line that i had to "smile" at...It made me smile when I honestly didn't think I would smile again,
    When i found out about Em I honestly sat there and tried to remember the last time I was happy, because I truly thought that was most likely my last happy time. The truth being since her birth I've never been happier or smiled more.
    This test scares me. The nonchalant attitude taken that the baby is "barely there " is disturbing. And the underlying message is loud and clear - most people still think the elimination of Ds is in everyone's best interest.

  4. I'm at work with tears in my eyes! Adrienne, you couldn't have said it any better. Though my story is a little bit different than yours, I too, was in that position at one point. And I can tell you, without a single doubt, that we made the best decision ever. I can't imagine life without Sadie and can only hope and pray that others choose life for their sweet children, no matter what the circumstances and no matter what gestational age. :)

  5. Oh that test makes me so nervous! People always say how bad the people are in Eastern Europe for giving up their babies. But are we really any better in America? We don't even give them a chance!

  6. beautifully written! i started miss maggie's blog after we found lisa's (bridget's light) and it provided us with so much the day our maggie was born. so i definitely wanted to pay it forward and hopefully help someone as much as lisa helped us. and the bonus is getting to 'meet' so many other moms who love their sweet angels as much as i do! we all know how truly blessed we are... we just have to keep spreading the word to let others know how amazing that extra chromosome is :)

  7. That's why I am so glad I found your blog Adrienne! I don't have a child with special needs, but I so have a heart for those that do. You are a normal person doing an amazing thing! I love it!

  8. Yours was the first blog I found after Emily was born and it was so refreshing especially since all I had been reading up until that point were books and articles on the internet that just don't tell you what real life is like with DS. I feel less alone since I started my blog, sometimes I even forget that not everyone has a child with funny is that! So glad you are one of my bloggy friends. I blog too in the hopes that just one person would happen upon Emily's sweet face and think differently about Down Syndrome forever!

  9. this is an encouragement to me as just last night I was talking to my husband about blogging and why I do it. Sometimes its hard to not loose heart and then you get a comment from a stranger...or a friend saying that they were inspired by something you wrote. That is why I blog.

  10. You are right God doesn't make mistakes. Thankful for this huge bloggy world that shines such a positive light on ds.

  11. AMEN!! I love what you wrote and agree completely. You are a beautiful Mother.

  12. Your blog was the first blog I found that was written by a mom of a child with special needs, and it opened up a whole new world for me.

    It has been such an encouragement to me to read about Bennett and about your trust in God as you raise him.


  13. Beautiful post. and I HATE that test!!

  14. That test really concerns me! I just did a post on abortion~ so I won't beat that dead horse! I hate all this prenatal testing anyway! I know~ some lives have been saved because of it~ but how many MORE have been snuffed out?! Just makes me shudder and think of Hitler~ SERIOUSLY, that is what our society is becoming! What if the test is wrong anyway and somebody does that who would not have even considered it before that test??? Not condoning aborting whether you know something is wrong or not, but that is scary that this test will cause more abortions! God, help us!

  15. Toot your horn, babe! I think you are the reason my friend blogs, and she got me blogging and you are so right! All of God's children are precious and deserve a right to life. I hate this test and how it's so focused on Down Syndrome. Prior to having Jimmy I was pro-life but it never affected my vote because it wasn't that important to me but now, I am so pro life because of how wonderful Jimmy is and how sad I am that people feel they can choose their kid's genetics. It grosses me out. Thank you for posting this and all your wonderful posts!

  16. That test makes me nervous. I don't mean to sound harsh, but what's the point? I mean, I can understand wanting to know if your child has Down Syndrome before they are born. It would be better, give more time to prepare emotionally, then learning about it just seconds after childbirth.

    But why did they spend all that time and money, to develop a test that diagnoses Ds so early in the pregnancy? I would be curious to hear their answer.

    I loved your post. I like the reasons you blog. Keep it up, you're good at it!

  17. I hate the tests too- but what I hate even more is the pressure many medical professionals put on parents to end their pregnancy because of it. Our children bring something special to the world, and their lives have such value. I can't stand that so many think that they don't.


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