Thursday, July 28, 2011

It Sneaks Up On You.

The other night the girls and I were eating dinner out on the patio and I couldn't help but notice the sky....

It was the kind of sky that makes you think that heaven is opening up and shining down, you've seen the kind of sky. And you can't help but think that {that heaven is opening up}.

Harper noticed it too and said: "Mommy, see those clouds?" {I had not taken a picture of them at this point}

Me: "Yes, they're pretty, aren't they?"

Harper: "Yes, well those are the clouds that Granddaddy is sitting on and he's looking down on us!" Huge smile on her face.


Seriously?! Oh my sweet Harper. Even she thought it looked heavenly without me telling her that. She's 4!

And with that comment I had to excuse myself because although I was smiling at her and agreeing, the tears were welling up and just like that it snuck up on me.

Calmly I walked inside but as soon as I shut the door I burst into tears. For my little girl to say such a heart warming thing and to smile at her own little thought....well, I just couldn't take it.

That's how it usually is. It sneaks up, comes on quickly and then it quickly leaves. The littlest things will set it off. The tears are temporary but it's the kind of cry that takes your breath away and then just like that, it's gone. You wipe the tears away, catch your breath and you carry on.

I cannot tell you how much I miss my dad. I know I've said it before but it's still so hard to believe he's gone. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He's was supposed to beat this thing. Really, we had it all planned out.

But then, I guess it really was supposed to be this way. Just sucks. Big time.

If you're able, and he's able to answer, call your dad. Call him today and tell him that you love him. For no reason at all.


  1. I don't even remember how I came across your blog, but I just have to tell you how much I love reading it! You have the sweetest little family. Thank you for this post...some days we all need reminders of the things we take for granted. Have a wonderful day:)

  2. I know exactly what you mean. I lost my Aunt who was like a mother to me, two years ago this month, and certain things will just bring on the tears. i miss her so much too!

  3. crying as i read this!!! i can completely envision exactly what you just described and i feel for you - i can't imagine how much you miss your dad! thinking of you!!!

  4. I don't know how I will ever deal with it when my dad is gone. Last year my brother called late at night to tell me he was in the hospital, and for the first time in my life, my emotions made me physically ill. I was throwing up just at the thought of him being that sick. It ended up being no big deal, but it really made me think about how life will be one day without him. I am going to take your advice and call him now!

    I know this has been so hard on you and appreciate you sharing. Thinking of you.

  5. Hugs Adrienne. It does look like heaven opening up. Such a sweet tender moment.

  6. Great post! When I miss my daddy I just remember, "To take the sorrow out of death would mean taking the love out of life." I'm so grateful for the love.

  7. I tried to post something the other day, but my computer just kept asking me to login in......ugh! I just want you to know that you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers for the last several months. I can relate somewhat to what you are going through with your dad, having lost my mom to cancer. I was just 23, with no spouse or kids, so it was definitely different than your experience, but I do know it is so hard to lose a parent. After 24 years, I still miss my mom, but not in such a painful way. I wish she could have known my kids and my husband, but it does not hurt nearly as much. I can still shed tears at the thought of all we have missed sharing, but in the next breath laugh at the things we did
    share. It does get easier, but it does take a long time. I will continue to pray for strength for you and your family. Hang in there!

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